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Rule #1

K

KYHeirloomer

Guest
Rule #1 in the culinary world, of course, is everything tastes better with bacon.

But I'm talking about rule #1 in the military world, which I had, unfortunately, forgotten: Never volunteer for nothing, it stinks.

Friend Wife's department at work is having one of their periodic parties, this one requireing finger foods. So, without thinking, I volunteered to make my famous pork finger pies.

Spent the day at it, and didn't even get to eat one.:( I'll never do that again. From now on, Rule #1 rules!
 
No good deed ever goes unpunished lol.
Like Mama says your gonna be their go to appetizer man now.
 
Well now that you've been properly "smacked around" a little for breaking rule # 1 how 'bout sharing that recipe:eek: Maybe then we can find it in our hearts to forgive your foolishness:D
 
>Now they can ask you to do it again!<

Yeah, Mama. They can ask.

It's like they say about praying. God answers all prayers. Only sometimes the answer is "no."
 
Cathy, you're welcome to the recipe. But it's rather long, and uses a special pastry dough, so will take me some time to type it up for you.
 
What a SUCKER!

...but, I know the feeling, KYH... Just last week I made 4 decorated layer cakes to take for a bake-sale to benefit the Walk For Life (a cancer benefit). Well, little did I know (no one bothered to tell me!) that due to the rains/flooding, the event had been cancelled, so here I am making a 40 mile drive w/ gas a ba-zillion dollars a gallon, to a town I was unfamiliar with in the HEAT & HUMIDITY with 4 tired, drooping frosted cakes...

I ended up returning home & taking the cakes to my niece's softball game and giving them to the folks in the stands. My sister told me later that while those in the bleachers loved me for it- those working the concession stand hated me, 'cause no one bought anything! Sh#t!!!... a guy just can't win for losin'!
 
Well, Chubbs, as Janie said, no good deed goes unpunished. One of these days we'll learn that on a gut level.

Cathy, here's the recipe:

Pork* & Olive Finger Pies

1 lb boneless pork shoulder cut into 1-inch cubes and chilled (or 1 lb ground pork)
2 tbls unsalted butter
1 med onion, finely chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
¼ cup dry white wine
1 tbls fresh lemon juice
1 ½ tbls flour
1/3 cup each chicken stock and beef stock
½ tsp black pepper
8 large green Italian olives, pitted and coarsely chopped
¼ cup minced parsley
1 recipe Cornmeal Pastry
1 egg
1 tbls Dijon mustard

Heat a large heavy skillet over moderately high heat until very hot. Meanwhile, in a food processor, chop the pork in batches, by pulsing, until coarsely ground. Transfer the meat to the hot skillet and cook, stirring to break up the meat, until browned and most of the liquid has evaporated---about 15 minutes.

Add the butter to the skillet and reduce the heat to moderate. Add the onion and cook with the meat until the onion is translucent and starting to brown, about 5 minutes. Stir in the garlic and cook 2 minutes longer. Add the wine and lemon juice and simmer until almost evaporated, about 3 minutes. Sprinkle the flour over the meat and cook, stirring, until the mixture is thick and pasty, about 2 minutes more.

Gradually stir in the chicken and beef stocks and ¾ cup of water and bring to a simmer. Season with the pepper. Cover, reduce heat to low, and simmer gently for 30 minutes. Remove from the heat and stir in the olives and parsley. Season to taste with salt & pepper. Let cool completely before filling the pies.

Mixture can be made a day head and refrigerated overnight.

On a lightly floured surface, roll out 1 disk of the Cornmeal Pastry dough into a 6 x 16 inch rectangle. Using a fluted pastry wheel, trim it to 5 x 15 inches, then cut the rectangle into three 5 x 5 inch squares. Moisten the edges of each square. Scoop 2 rounded tablespoons of the pork & olive mixture onto the lower half of each square and spread evenly, leaving a rim of pastry exposed. Fold the pastry over to enclose the filling, pressing the edges lightly to seal. Trim the edges with the pastry wheel. Continue with the remaining squares, then repeat with the remaining disks of Cornmeal Pastry dough and filling.

Pies can be made to this point, wrapped well first in plastic and then in foil, and frozen for up to 1 month. If frozen, unwrap the pies and let sit at room temperature for 10 minutes before proceeding, and allow 5 minutes extra baking time.

Preheat the oven to 400F. Place the pies on a large ungreased baking sheet. In a small bowl beat together the egg and mustard; brush lightly over the top of each pie. With a small sharp knife cut three small steam vents in the center of each pie. Bake the pies 25-30 minutes until well browned. Let cool on a rack about 5 minutes. Serve whole pies in a basket, or cut them in half and arrange on a platter.

I usually cut them in half, on the diagonal, and serve with a sour cream mustard sauce.

*Chicken or venison can be substituted for the pork.

Cornmeal Pastry

4 cups all purpose flour
½ cup cornmeal
1 tsp salt
1 stick plus 2 tbls cold, unsalted butter, cut into 20 pieces
2/3 cup chilled vegetable shortening
2/3 cup ice water

In a food processor combine the flour, cornmeal and salt; pulse briefly to mix. Add the butter and shortening and process until the mixture resembles coarse meal.

With the machine running, add the ice water and process just until the dough begins to form a ball. Transfer the dough to a lightly floured surface and knead briefly.

Cut the dough in quarters and shape into disks. Wrap each disk in wax paper (or put in a zipper bag) and refrigerate until ready to roll out. (Dough can be prepared to this point and refrigerated overnight if desired.) Let the dough sit at room temperature for about 5 minutes before rolling out.
 
Thank you KYH for this terrific recipe, I can see why you were so disappointed that you did not get any, these sound marvelous! I appreciate the recipe, and will be making it soon!
 
If you play your rolling pin right, the scraps from each rectangle are just enough to form one more square. So you get 4 from each disk, rather than just three. And there's plenty of filling to go around.

This is one of my 3 signature dishes when I cater parties (the others are my seafood lollipops and my miniature Kentucky Hot Browns), and they're always a hit. I actually think they taste better with chicken, but that's just me.

Let me know if you do make them, and what you think.
 
Kentucky Hot Browns are a take on hot, open-faced turkey sandwiches. They originated at the Brown Hotel, in Louisvile, in the 1920s. Originally made with chicken, turkey is now the more accepted protein. And the garnish, which nowadays is tomato, was originally a mushroom. My research doesn't say so, but, given the time, I'd say it was likely a carved mushroom. Morney sauce was originally used, but most places, today, use cheddar sauce. And some places actually combine turkey and country ham.

Basically, some bread is laid down first. Traditionally this would be a slice, flanked by two diagonally cut half slices, in an oval serving dish. Sliced poached chicken is piled up. The whole thing covered with Morney sauce. Strips of bacon are criss-crossed over the top, and the mushroom centered.

Whole thing gets popped under the broiler until browned and bubbly.

Essintially I miniaturize the whole thing to make individual finger-food portions. Using a fluted cookie cutter, I make the base out of toasted oatmeal bread. With the same cutter I cut a thick slice of roast turkey. Then a small circular cutter makes a second slice to step down the "tower". And finally, three really tiny circles are overlapped (like the three-ring sign). Thick Morney sauce (for these you do not want it runny) is spooned over, sprinkled with crushed bacon, and topped with a sauteed mushroom.
 
This sounds absolutely FANTASTIC, Brook! And I love the idea for your fancy, miniaturized version...

I LOVE mornay- one of my all-time FAV sauces! I prefer it even to similar sauces like alfredo... I love the richness or the parm and gruyere... and the pinch of nutmeg adds so much depth.

Your dish brings quick to mind TWO others...

1.) the hot turkey sandwich in my grade school cafeteria- a slice of white wonder bread, then a thick slice of cheap pressed turkey "breast", crowned by a big scoop of instant mashed potatos and drizzled with turkey gravy- YUM! This was a FAV from the school's hair-netted "lunch ladies"!

Then 2.) our regional fav here, the "Prairie Pony" which is a pair of Texas Toast slices- one of them diagonally-split and placed on either end of the first slice of toast, as you mentioned- then piled w/ shaved ham & turkey, then french fries, and the whole thing is then drowned in cheese sauce. Dang!
 
If you skip the fries on that last one, Chubbs, you have what a lot of places call hot browns.

The mixed turkey/ham with cheddar sauce makes a tasty meal, IMO. But it is not hot browns by any stretch of the imagination.

I can buy the tomato instead of the mushroom, and the turkey instead of chicken. But that's as far as I go. If it ain't Morney it ain't the true gelt. I just wish they'd call it ham & turkey in cheese sauce, and be done.

At my school your #1 was inedible (as was most of the food prepared in the cafeteria). Library paste coated with brown glue on top of shoe leather. Ugh! That's one of the reasons I brought lunch from home.
 
My grade school also had a dish I loved- but that MOST hated... called "Texas Hash". It was pretty much Spanish Rice with leftover taco meat in it. Actually if you've ever tased Popeye's "Chicken & Sausage Jambalaya" it's very similar. I keep cheapo-boxes of "Zatarain's Jambalaya Rice" in my pantry to replicate it when I need a fix- i put any number of leftover meats in it, like shredded chicken, pork or shrimp... but I always add Hilshire Farms Smoked Sausage too, which is another one of my most enjoyable, weirdo must-have indulgences.

Years ago I was somehow shang-hai'd into watching the dumb teeny-bopper comedy "National Lampoon's Class Reunion". This group of folks returns to their old high school gym where their 25th reunion is held. There's this scene where a few former students decide to sneak into the old cafeteria and poke around. Low and behold they find evidence that the very same old, cranky, jeweled-hair-net wearing, filthy-dirty lunch lady is still the cook there. They tip-toe into her pantry and check out the ingredients on the dry-store shelves and sure enough they find exactly what they suspected: row after row of boxes, cartons, and #10 cans with lables that read "Dried Sh#t", Powdered Sh@t", "Stewed Sh*t", well... you get the idea! For those who don't have very high funnybone standards it was a hoot! (I laughed my behind off! Ha!)
 
Lunch Room food was the WORST where I attended H.S. Just thinking about it makes me nauseous, I do know they have improved on school lunches alot since I was a youngster! We got to lunch w/our 8 yr. old on occassion and have lunch w/ her and we are very pleased, Thank God!
 
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Up here they don't cook lunches anymore. They are all microwaved in black plastic things and served to the kids.

All bread is that cheap wheat crap. All "cardboard" pizza is cheap wheat crust. All pasta is wheat pasta. All mac n cheese is wheat macaroni. All ham is turkey ham. All hotdogs are turkey served on cheap wheat rolls.

All sloppy joes are ground turkey and soy served on cheap wheat. For breakfast pancakes and waffles are cheap wheat.

No more white bread. No more decent anything.

It burns me up to see a lunch consist of a packet of baby carrots, a small container of ranch dressing, a container of yogurt and an apple and milk or a juice box. What is supposed to sustain these kids for the rest of the day? Especially the ones that really need more nourishment?

When I was in school - they cooked! You ate a hot lunch - well rounded with white bread and whole milk. We were healthy. No candy or junk. Occasionally we would get a cookie with it or a small piece of cake.

In high school they introduced the "cardboard" pizza - wow was that ever different.

By sophmore year - you could get a hot lunch or a "cold" lunch. Loved the cold lunch. An assorted lunchmeat hoagie, cheese, lettuce and tomato with a packet of mayo, a handful of chips and a spoon of canned fruit with milk. If not chips - macaroni or potato salad.

No wonder the kids today throw their lunches in the garbage! I wouldn't eat that crap either.
 
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