What's new
By:
Filters
Cooking Forum

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Food and Memories

jglass

jglass

New member
My brother and sisters all have a big thing for my cooking and I am sure it is because it gets them as close as they can get to eating our Mom's cooking again.
My brother was telling me on the phone the other day about how much he missed Mom's gravy and bisuits. I said well it just so happens I can make her gravy. My biscuits are not exactly like hers cause she used lard but the gravy is hers 100%.
He came by early Mon and I made him coffee to have while he chatted with Jon and I made him a late breakfast. I fried some pork sausage and used the drippings I had from it to make gravy. I had already made buttermilk biscuits that morning so I just microwaved him three of them and fried him a couple of eggs. I made him a huge plate with two eggs, 4 big pieces of sausage, 3 big biscuits, gravy and strawberry peach jam I made last year. I took him the pepper milk and salt so he could add more seasoning if he wanted. It was so good to see him eat. He has tons of health problems and tends to get skinny. He got so sleepy after he had his food he almost fell asleep on the couch lol.

If I could afford it and they all lived closer I would cook for them way more often. You can see on their faces eating meals Mom used to make really takes them back. Being able to do that for anyone is such a good feeling but even more so when it is family. My brother was talking about how good it was after he ate and my husband tells him yeah now you can see why Im round :rolleyes:
My brother called tonight and said he has a doctors appointment in this town at 9:30 in the morning. He asked if he came by after his appointment would I do breakfast again. I said you better believe it kiddo ;)
 
Janie you said your brother has some health problems. He is really thin, and felt really sleepy after eating biscuits and gravy. How sleepy? A little sleepy or falling down and sleeping for 4 hours sleepy? Those are some classic symptoms of wheat gluten allergy. Does he have a rash at all or does he bruise easily? So many people have it and don't know. It's one of the most undiagnosed illnesses in America.

It is really nice though to keep those memories alive. My Aunt does a lot of the same cooking that my grandmother did. It's nice to still have those memories around in the form of food.
 
Janie,

I can tell by your story you have a deep love for your siblings, and enjoy making others feel good! I know they adore you:) Being a great cook has some fabulous rewards doesn't it!!!

Cathy
 
He has Multiple sclerosis, diabetes, high blood pressure and Emphysema just to name a few. The MS has taken a small break for attacking his mobility and is now focusing on his stomach. Hard to digest food when the nerves in your stomach are being attacked.
He doesnt watch what he eats at all. Right now he takes the pills for his diabetes but I expect shots are not far down the road. He has a lot of muscle pain and doesnt feel like eating a lot of the time. When I fuss about what he eats or his smoking I always get the same answer. He is gonna do what he wants what time he has left. He will go hours and hours without eating which is very dangerous for his diabetes. Then when he does eat he covers the food with a white layer of salt which is bad for the high blood pressure. He loves fatty meat when he does eat and he smokes alot. My parents were the same way.
 
jglass said:
He has Multiple sclerosis, diabetes, high blood pressure and Emphysema just to name a few. The MS has taken a small break for attacking his mobility and is now focusing on his stomach. Hard to digest food when the nerves in your stomach are being attacked.
He doesnt watch what he eats at all. Right now he takes the pills for his diabetes but I expect shots are not far down the road. He has a lot of muscle pain and doesnt feel like eating a lot of the time. When I fuss about what he eats or his smoking I always get the same answer. He is gonna do what he wants what time he has left. He will go hours and hours without eating which is very dangerous for his diabetes. Then when he does eat he covers the food with a white layer of salt which is bad for the high blood pressure. He loves fatty meat when he does eat and he smokes alot. My parents were the same way.
Click to expand...

I'm so sorry to hear that, it sounds like a recipe for disaster. I know it's really frustrating when you can't get the people you care about to see how they are hurting themselves. I'm sure you being there for him means a lot though.
 
I have an older sis who is only in her mid 40's. She has abused her body so badly she has to live in a nursing home. Her lungs are pretty much shot. I begged her to stop many years ago and so did everyone else. I heard the same line from her about doing what she wanted. Your not gonna change their minds. I wonder what will happen with people like my brother and his wife who are so addicted to smoking when the goverment starts regulating exactly what goes into them. My husbands brother and his wife are just as hooked. I hear that from a lot of people but I also know alot of people who have put down cigarettes cold turkey and never picked them up again. My parents abused my older three brothers and sister. That abuse has made them all three very self destructive and they dont even see it.

Atleast I can give him a meal that hits the spot and let him know I care.
Besides all of us foodies love to see someone enjoying the fruits of our labor ;)
 
I'm glad your brother has you, janie. How wonderful. The story you shared was warm and touching. I wish him PEACE.

Everyone offers some great insight and even helpful advice. And I know it comes from a caring and warm place. And I know it's difficult to watch someone do things that you know are destructive...

But when it comes down to it- everyone does what they do for a reason. Smokers get something from smoking. Fat people (like me) get something from over-eating. Folks who chew their fingernails get something from that. Folks who over-spend feed some need in themselves by that behavior- shoppers, too. Addictions are destructive. Are there better ways to deal with whatever it is the food is helping with? The cigs? The over-spending? Absolutely.

But does everybody do something destructive that they should not do- that's potentially unhealthy or dangerous or destructive that they should try to find a way to stop? Probably. Smoking, or being fat is just a very physical, obvious thing that everyone can SEE. Some of the other dysfunctions many have are easily hidden.

I'm not saying we should give-up, or justify our own addiction by saying "Well, everybody does something destructive!". But pointing at folks doesn't work as well as most tend to think it does. Shaming people fails every time. I know- I'm fat. Why point it out? Smokers know smoking kills- so why waste our breath on the words? Let's challenge ourselves to find REAL and practical ways to help- if we even care to at all.

I've lost 100lbs. three times in my life. So DON'T tell me eating half a banana and Special K for breakfast is healthier than eating eggs & bacons and a donut. I might just know more about healthful eating than YOU do. Like w/ many things- it's proll'y most effective to lead by example. No one ever is humiliated into making healthful choices- at least I never was.

What MIGHT work better is to try and coach folks toward better ways of dealing w/ stress. Or abuse. Or memories of a painful childhood. Or of figuring out better ways at recognizing one's true potential, or their self-worth. Or of addressing/overcoming great fears. Or of wrestling w/ various types of victimization. Or of relinquishing weakness and gaining stength... These are all reasons why some of us do the things we do. Some of the personal reactions we have... the personal coping devices we've each held onto for comfort, and to simply get thru the day.

I challenge everyone to look within and find THEIR destructive trait/habit that needs work. We all have them. Even the healthy. Even the skinny. Even the smart. Even the young. Even the rich. Even those w/ smoke-free breath. Even the successful.

QUESTION: Do YOU have a vice that you should proll'y give up? Might it even harm or kill you?

I don't mean any of this in a hyper-critical way to any of us... they're simply just things that came to mind as I read janie's initial post... One final thought- a quote from Abe Lincoln: "It has been my experience that folks w/ very few vices also have very few virtues.".
 
Last edited:
Mine is diet coke. I really wish I could stop drinking that stuff. I know it's not healthy and I have tried many times but that stuff is really addictive.
 
Kev for some reason I was moved to tears as I read your post. It was so eloquently stated and I must thank you for such a beautiful and thoughtful reply. God Bless you!!!

Your friend, Cath
 
Aw, Cath... I didn't mean to make you cry, dear!

And I'll say it again, I hope it didn't sound like I was cutting anybody down. Folks were making great remarks and offering sound advice, and I wasn't responding to anything or anyone that I thought was out of line at all.

And I wasn't offering excuses, either. It's just that especially when it comes to fat folks- many have this misperception that being big results from being lazy. Or weak. Or that chubbys lack drive or motivation. And I guess being big- I take it too personally, sometimes. Afterall, I worked 80+ hour weeks for over 20 years- on my feet. I led teams of workers numbering sometimes close to 50 personnel. I've fed groups of hundreds over the course of a couple hours. Nothing lazy or directionless or weak about that.

And I know no one was being attacked- least of all me. I sometimes just feel the need to speak-up. And although I've never smoked, or drank or done drugs or been anorexic, or had issues w/ over-spending or *gambbling (*for some reason the system wouldn't accept the correct spelling of the word! <???>) I imagine many of those folks feel similarly when they feel they're being generalized about. Or when it seems some folks are oversimplifying the issue.

Addiction is terrible wardon in an impossble jail, I tell ya! (to ammend- it's true that among the many LAZY folks in the world, many are surely FAT- <just as many are thin, purple or polk-dotted!>... but being FAT doesn't automatically mean LAZY. Just wanted to clarify that...)
 
Last edited:
I guess after seeing smoking put so many family members in the ground I havent got alot of patience for it. I dont have much family left and I would like to hang on to the ones who are still here. When you have your inhalers in your truck and are hacking up a lung while smoking I just dont understand. I honestly do not think I have ever been addicted to anything I couldnt give up when it came down to it but I have never smoked or drank either. When I got the ulcer I gave up 98% of the food I liked and soda pop for almost two years. I still cannot do soda pop, regular coffee or orange juice.
The closest thing you could say Im addicted to is fresh tomatoes. They are bad for my ulcer but I still eat them all summer :eek: I missed them most of all while I was trying to heal the ulcer up. I didnt even miss chocolate as much as I did tomatoes.
 
I'm with ya, janie... smoking annoys me too, for sure. Hate being around it. My whole family smoked for years and I recall visitng home from Alaska and having to stay in a house where 3-4 people smoked, and the stench of the stale smoke even permeated my LUGGAGE! Then I got smart- whenever I went home I used old tattered bags and duffels and took my oldest clothes. When I flew back home that crap went right into the dumpster- didn't even want the smell of the smoke to go back into my apartment! Funny- if I had to choose I'd rather smell fresh cig smoke than that old disgusting aged STALE stuff!
 
I totally understand. My Mom always smoked and I was kinda desensitized to it til I started spending most of my time with Jon. Jon must have been really interested in me cause my clothes and hair must have smelled like an ashtray in the beginning. When we moved in together I had to wash everything I had because they stank so bad from being in Moms house. Now with asthma and allergies I cannot take cig smoke at all!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top