I hope that this person stops drinking before he hurts everyone around him.
His parents are good people. His Dad spoke with Jon yesterday about this. It really hurt them to have to lay the law down to him but they have no choice. The worst things to ever happen to this guy is that he and his first wife had a premature son who was born still born many many years ago. He has a big thing about having a son to carry on the family name BUT he also thinks the only woman worth having is someone who looks like a supermodel. He always complained his job was stressing him out. His job was keeping track of incoming trucks at a small Marathon site. He bascially watched monitors and filled out paperwork. They even hired an assistant for him when he got behind. I have taken him over there before in the middle of the night when the security alarm would go off and he was to drunk to drive. It was a sweet setup. He had an air conditioned office, big tv, fridge, computer, leather couch all in this little building where he was stationed.
He always complains he wants to do the one thing enjoys the most for a living which is art. He carves. Im sorry but it takes him 6-8 years to finish a carving. I have seen his work..its not that great. I found a pic of a woman who was really cute on his desk once when I took Jon out there to fix something he had done to his computer. I asked him about her and he told me he had to break things off with her because he found out she took anti anxiety meds. Said he didnt want anyone who self medicated. Duh..Jon asked what does he think he does with the booze. He said it wasnt the same. He could quit drinking anytime he wanted. He doesnt think he has a problem..he says he drinks to much BUT that he can quit anytime he wants and doesnt miss it when he doesnt have it. Im sorry but when you drink til you pass out every single night and then crawl behind the wheel of your company truck then blow twice the legal limit your a drunk. My Mom and Dad were the same as he is. Yeah they could quit for a week or two but they always went back to it and when they were in it that was all they cared about. They didnt care it we had food, clothes or shoes. Nothing mattered but the booze and just like him they didnt think they had a problem. They would sober up a week or so when they ran out of money in which time they were sick as dogs.
Here is what he will do. He and his brother in law co own a house in the next town over from here called Ashland. It is where I go to get groceries. The house is next door to the house where his sister and brother in law live. He will move into that house. He has stayed there off and on in the past for a few weeks at a time. It is within walking distance of a liquor store plus they have cabs over there. His sister is mad at him right now to but he knows her and her hubby both work long hours and that while they are out he can drink all he wants. He had his sis have had words cause the sister and her hubby are on like a long term mortage with him for that house and now that he has no job she is scared of how he will pay his half. Now that his folks wont allow him to drink in their house anymore I dont think he will stay there. See the whole reason he moved back in with them 7-8 years ago was after his Dad had a heart attack and he was gonna be there to help them. Well he doesnt do anything to help them what so ever. He doesnt pay a bill. He doesnt take his Mom anywhere she needs to go. He stops at Walmart on Fridays and buys a couple rotisserie chickens and thats about it. I dont think they will miss him much. When he is home he is locked in his room drinking and playing world of warcraft online or trying to chat up someone woman on some online dating thing. Last time we worked on his computer I saw some pics on there he was sending these women of his as recent photos. :rolleyes: They were OLD pics of when he was young and in shape. Back then his chest was twice what it is now and he looked like a statue. Now he is skinny as a rail. Talk about bait and switch :o
He always complains he wants to do the one thing enjoys the most for a living which is art. He carves. Im sorry but it takes him 6-8 years to finish a carving. I have seen his work..its not that great. I found a pic of a woman who was really cute on his desk once when I took Jon out there to fix something he had done to his computer. I asked him about her and he told me he had to break things off with her because he found out she took anti anxiety meds. Said he didnt want anyone who self medicated. Duh..Jon asked what does he think he does with the booze. He said it wasnt the same. He could quit drinking anytime he wanted. He doesnt think he has a problem..he says he drinks to much BUT that he can quit anytime he wants and doesnt miss it when he doesnt have it. Im sorry but when you drink til you pass out every single night and then crawl behind the wheel of your company truck then blow twice the legal limit your a drunk. My Mom and Dad were the same as he is. Yeah they could quit for a week or two but they always went back to it and when they were in it that was all they cared about. They didnt care it we had food, clothes or shoes. Nothing mattered but the booze and just like him they didnt think they had a problem. They would sober up a week or so when they ran out of money in which time they were sick as dogs.
Here is what he will do. He and his brother in law co own a house in the next town over from here called Ashland. It is where I go to get groceries. The house is next door to the house where his sister and brother in law live. He will move into that house. He has stayed there off and on in the past for a few weeks at a time. It is within walking distance of a liquor store plus they have cabs over there. His sister is mad at him right now to but he knows her and her hubby both work long hours and that while they are out he can drink all he wants. He had his sis have had words cause the sister and her hubby are on like a long term mortage with him for that house and now that he has no job she is scared of how he will pay his half. Now that his folks wont allow him to drink in their house anymore I dont think he will stay there. See the whole reason he moved back in with them 7-8 years ago was after his Dad had a heart attack and he was gonna be there to help them. Well he doesnt do anything to help them what so ever. He doesnt pay a bill. He doesnt take his Mom anywhere she needs to go. He stops at Walmart on Fridays and buys a couple rotisserie chickens and thats about it. I dont think they will miss him much. When he is home he is locked in his room drinking and playing world of warcraft online or trying to chat up someone woman on some online dating thing. Last time we worked on his computer I saw some pics on there he was sending these women of his as recent photos. :rolleyes: They were OLD pics of when he was young and in shape. Back then his chest was twice what it is now and he looked like a statue. Now he is skinny as a rail. Talk about bait and switch :o
I often judge people- though I try to make an honest effort NOT to.
I have often judeged folks who drink/drug... especially if they do so in excess.
I try to keep my judging in check though, because afterall, I carry a hundred-plus pounds more than I ought to. There are a hundred reasons for this- ranging from laziness to busy-ness... and emotional issues, out-of-check dependencies, etc.
Losing weight for me is at once the easiest thing in the world to do- AND the HARDEST thing in the world to do.
And folks could easily look at me and say "Why don't that poor baztard just LOSE a hundred pounds?"
But, I don't want folks to do that- that's why I try to ease my judgments of these other folks who drink, etc.
But... it is easy to be critical. I tell ya...
I have often judeged folks who drink/drug... especially if they do so in excess.
I try to keep my judging in check though, because afterall, I carry a hundred-plus pounds more than I ought to. There are a hundred reasons for this- ranging from laziness to busy-ness... and emotional issues, out-of-check dependencies, etc.
Losing weight for me is at once the easiest thing in the world to do- AND the HARDEST thing in the world to do.
And folks could easily look at me and say "Why don't that poor baztard just LOSE a hundred pounds?"
But, I don't want folks to do that- that's why I try to ease my judgments of these other folks who drink, etc.
But... it is easy to be critical. I tell ya...
A weight issue isn't putting those around you at risk. Getting drunk and driving kills innocent people. If I took a gun and shot at someone with it I'd be charged with attempt of murder. An alcoholic should face the same. Worse is drunken driving and crashing and getting away with it. I have always wondered how people that drink, spend so much time in bars and at liquor stores, can afford it. Especially if they have families and children to support. It's a very expensive habit.
Well this situation got ugly yesterday.
Four weeks ago this same friend called and asked us to take him a couple of towns over to sign up for unemployment. So we did.. He was in there for three hours so when he got out we went to my fav chinese place and had a late lunch. While we were at lunch he tells Jon that his mother who has had knee replacement was drinking wine occasionally to help her sleep. Then he tells Jon that his Dad whom had told us he didnt want any more booze in the home told him he could drink a couple of beers a night but thats it. Jon and I were doubtful but Jon took his word on it. On the way home he asks to stop at CVS ******** and we like idiots assumed he was getting a script filled. Sooo he comes out with a buggy containing five cases of beer and four or five fifths of Jim Beam whiskey. He comes to the back of my car and taps on it for me to raise the trunk. I got out and told him it wouldnt fit back there anyway cause I have other stuff in there.
I had told Jon what he did when I saw him pushing it out of the store and Jon said to go ahead and put it in the car so we put it in the backseat. With all of that in there he barely had room to sit. He would have been really screwed if I hadnt taken my cooler I normally keep in the backseat out before we left. Like a dummy I didnt want him to be crowded back there. I keep the cooler back there to put my cold stuff in when Jon and I go get groceries.
In the car he assures Jon his Dad was fine with it and that he intended to use this to dry himself out and wean himself off. His last stop before going home was at his accountants to get his taxes done. While he was in there I told Jon about the whiskey and Jon said well did he get his Mom wine and I said nope. I told Jon he had just been had.
Soo we pull up to his Mom and Dads place where he lives and he goes pull up close to my truck. He has a big SUV. He quickly jumps out and stashes his purchases in the back of his truck and covers it with a sleeping bag. At this point Im pretty mad but he is Jons friend so I kept my mouth shut.
I told Jon when we got in the car we had just been had. Jon goes I know..he said he was gonna ask his Dad about it as soon as he got the chance. Well we have been busy the since then and so his buddy calls Friday and wants to take us to dinner and a movie in Ashland and says he needs to make a stop before he comes home. Translated..he wants to stop and get booze. Jon put him off for the day and said he would get back with him Sat.
Honestly I was ****ed over last time. Jon had given his Dad our word we wouldnt take him to get anything like that. His Mom and Dad have been nothing but wonderful to me and I wouldnt do them that way AGAIN. Even though we hadnt asked his Dad about it I was sure he lied about last time. He hid it in his truck for crying out loud. Jon was on the phone late Fri so I decided to just drop his Dad an email and ask about it. I wasnt thinking and should have just let Jon handle it but I felt like he is my friend to and Im the one who does the driving.
His Dad emailed me back that he never changed his mind about booze in house. Jons bud lied to us both. His parents rule is still no booze and his Mom does not drink anything. He said he could tell his son was drinking at night when they were asleep but didnt know where he had it hid or where he got it at. I explained to him about what had happened and apologized.
Jon got very angry when he found out I emailed his Dad and we had one of the biggest fights we have ever had that lasted for three hours and got very ugly over this.
Jon felt I had messed up his relationship with a guy who had been his friend longer that he had known me. He said he felt betrayed and thats the PG version. I swear I didnt mean anything bad about it. I considered his parents my friends and I have felt like dirt for the last time he bought booze.
Those poor people are at their wits ends about what to do anyway. Plus, Im the driver - its my car - his friend is asking me to do this and putting me in the middle.
I let anger over the last time clound my judgement maybe..alcoholics for parents - probably but his parents know now and I got off a email to his friend telling him how I felt about being in this position. That argument between Jon and I would have never happened if it wasnt for him.
His Dad told Jon he planned to have it out with his son last night. Jon has kinda been expecting a call from his friend about it..especially since I sent him the email I did but he hasnt heard a peep.
I honestly wish his friend all the best but when his problems starts causing me marriage issues Im done. The guy has never admitted he even has a problem. He thinks cause he can quit for 3-7 days he isnt addicted.
Four weeks ago this same friend called and asked us to take him a couple of towns over to sign up for unemployment. So we did.. He was in there for three hours so when he got out we went to my fav chinese place and had a late lunch. While we were at lunch he tells Jon that his mother who has had knee replacement was drinking wine occasionally to help her sleep. Then he tells Jon that his Dad whom had told us he didnt want any more booze in the home told him he could drink a couple of beers a night but thats it. Jon and I were doubtful but Jon took his word on it. On the way home he asks to stop at CVS ******** and we like idiots assumed he was getting a script filled. Sooo he comes out with a buggy containing five cases of beer and four or five fifths of Jim Beam whiskey. He comes to the back of my car and taps on it for me to raise the trunk. I got out and told him it wouldnt fit back there anyway cause I have other stuff in there.
I had told Jon what he did when I saw him pushing it out of the store and Jon said to go ahead and put it in the car so we put it in the backseat. With all of that in there he barely had room to sit. He would have been really screwed if I hadnt taken my cooler I normally keep in the backseat out before we left. Like a dummy I didnt want him to be crowded back there. I keep the cooler back there to put my cold stuff in when Jon and I go get groceries.
In the car he assures Jon his Dad was fine with it and that he intended to use this to dry himself out and wean himself off. His last stop before going home was at his accountants to get his taxes done. While he was in there I told Jon about the whiskey and Jon said well did he get his Mom wine and I said nope. I told Jon he had just been had.
Soo we pull up to his Mom and Dads place where he lives and he goes pull up close to my truck. He has a big SUV. He quickly jumps out and stashes his purchases in the back of his truck and covers it with a sleeping bag. At this point Im pretty mad but he is Jons friend so I kept my mouth shut.
I told Jon when we got in the car we had just been had. Jon goes I know..he said he was gonna ask his Dad about it as soon as he got the chance. Well we have been busy the since then and so his buddy calls Friday and wants to take us to dinner and a movie in Ashland and says he needs to make a stop before he comes home. Translated..he wants to stop and get booze. Jon put him off for the day and said he would get back with him Sat.
Honestly I was ****ed over last time. Jon had given his Dad our word we wouldnt take him to get anything like that. His Mom and Dad have been nothing but wonderful to me and I wouldnt do them that way AGAIN. Even though we hadnt asked his Dad about it I was sure he lied about last time. He hid it in his truck for crying out loud. Jon was on the phone late Fri so I decided to just drop his Dad an email and ask about it. I wasnt thinking and should have just let Jon handle it but I felt like he is my friend to and Im the one who does the driving.
His Dad emailed me back that he never changed his mind about booze in house. Jons bud lied to us both. His parents rule is still no booze and his Mom does not drink anything. He said he could tell his son was drinking at night when they were asleep but didnt know where he had it hid or where he got it at. I explained to him about what had happened and apologized.
Jon got very angry when he found out I emailed his Dad and we had one of the biggest fights we have ever had that lasted for three hours and got very ugly over this.
Jon felt I had messed up his relationship with a guy who had been his friend longer that he had known me. He said he felt betrayed and thats the PG version. I swear I didnt mean anything bad about it. I considered his parents my friends and I have felt like dirt for the last time he bought booze.
Those poor people are at their wits ends about what to do anyway. Plus, Im the driver - its my car - his friend is asking me to do this and putting me in the middle.
I let anger over the last time clound my judgement maybe..alcoholics for parents - probably but his parents know now and I got off a email to his friend telling him how I felt about being in this position. That argument between Jon and I would have never happened if it wasnt for him.
His Dad told Jon he planned to have it out with his son last night. Jon has kinda been expecting a call from his friend about it..especially since I sent him the email I did but he hasnt heard a peep.
I honestly wish his friend all the best but when his problems starts causing me marriage issues Im done. The guy has never admitted he even has a problem. He thinks cause he can quit for 3-7 days he isnt addicted.