Jon told me his Mom used to have arguments with their Dad over the same thing. They never gave her any notice about dinners til the last minute and their Dad never wanted her to say anything to them. They got divorced the year before I came into the family and ever since I have done all of the cooking. The only difference was their other daughter in laws family never came to the family dinners before the divorce. From what I understand they never got along well with my mother in law. During Christmas I stayed onto them about who was coming to dinner at their Dads and when. I'm not doing it anymore.
Every year more of it has gotten placed on me. My FIl thinks $50 can cover a dinner for more than a dozen people he has invited and I get no help cooking anything. Plus I have to cook it here and haul it there. $50 didnt cover the cost of everything I am expected to cook 11 years ago when I started this.

We cooked for a couple dozen - every Sunday, every holiday, exery special occasion )or should I say every excuse) - always our home, our food, our clean up - and they brought just their appetites and took home tons of food.

Sometimes you wonder why the scales of balance seem to be "rusted" in one direction.

I have come to the decision the scales are going to get readjusted this year.
I'm getting really tired of being to exhausted from cooking for days to enjoy the holidays.
It takes all of the pleasure out of cooking. I like helping but no one seems to think I need any lol.

Janie -

stop it as soon as you can

coming from an Italian family it was my "duty" to follow in the footsteps of my mom, gram, great, gram etc, and I never got to enjoy a holidy or occasion - always making the sacrifice because it was my "duty"

all the housework, laundry (yes laundry - tablecloths, napkins, dish towels, etc. washin, starch, iron), scrubbing before and after - all on one person's shoulders

now I cook and bake in a more relaxed mode - it's my pleasure to make what I want, to make favorites for others and do as I please - there is much, much less pressure

I still put time into making everything homemade and fussing - and it does take time to do it - but I enjoy it much more now

and don't feel guilty - you paid your dues - many times over

I was talking with Jon yesterday and I told him there are going to be some changes this year in regards to the holiday dinners. Time to put a little enjoyment back into cooking.

Maybe it is just me but when I am trying to cook to many things I am not able to give my dishes the attention I would normally and they suffer. I always tells Jon when I taste and stir I am giving the dish some love lol.